Courtney Rose Brown
I could write a review
In essay form
about the theatrical semantics
But their disclaimer at the start of the show
Covers it all
This is the split of body and mind
And you will fall in love with one of them
(it’s the one dressed in white)
Her eyes going grey
from the black of her thick lashes
she smiles at you
In essay form
about the theatrical semantics
But their disclaimer at the start of the show
Covers it all
This is the split of body and mind
And you will fall in love with one of them
(it’s the one dressed in white)
Her eyes going grey
from the black of her thick lashes
she smiles at you
The softness of fake fur
White that glows gold
Under orange light
The burning of a fireplace
An intimate look at the details of her face
This is beauty desire
And the fantasy
Is constructed
It takes time to build the gaze
And then
Dismantle it
There’s something about
Words spoken with an emphasis
On each syllable
Yelled into a microphone with passion
That echoes around a crowded room that is silent
That makes you feel inspired
That makes you feel that you can yell your thoughts
That makes you feel that someone will listen
Write me 365 letters
One for every day of the year
Let the music from your boombox
Play loud enough
That your attempts finally reach my heart
And I am yours
Desire is only love
In your narrative
Woo me
And I am forever yours
He holds his arms out wide
Wearing a shrug and an awkward smile
He is nervous
And he is new
This is the first time he touches me
My desire is not attached to you
You are vague
You are no one and you are everyone
This is desire without needing anyone
This is just me
And this is just my body
I spend my life practising my gaze
Practising my desire
Practising
You should know that I’m afraid
That you may switch between passion and rage
You should know that I’m letting myself
Be vulnerable for you
You should know
That this isn’t love
This is just fucking
And I don’t want to have to tell you
How the anatomy of my body works
You just should know
And you should grab me
Wrap your hands around my neck
And hold me down
My orgasm always matches yours
My back arched
I roll side to side
My mouth opened wide
Ready to scream, to laugh, to taste more of you
I flop back onto the sheets, the hardwood floor, your desk
Panting with desire
Consumed by you
It is an act
Learned to maintain the male ego
My eyes roll
Not with ecstasy but with derision
With a breathless voice
I command
to try get you
To do what I want
It doesn’t satisfy
Make it messy
Let me eat your skin
your bones
And spit out your teeth
I want you to want me
I want my desire to have nothing to do with you
I am tired
Exhausted at your passivity
This is me screaming
Into a microphone
In a room full of people
About what I want
‘Cause I’ve waited long enough
And you should just give it to me
They miss out her
And them
The more than four
They forget
The stolen kisses under street lamps
Impromptu sex in bushes
Long hair curled around fingers
The softness of the feminine
This is the harsh grip of the masculine
Subscribed
Media enhanced
A desire shared
And separate
Forged with unshaken chants
This is theirs
And her’s
And maybe your’s
This is a start
An opening of a conversation
And you know what
We’re all listening
Body Double is currently showing at BATS Theatre until Saturday 25 November. For more information or to book tickets, please visit the BATS Theatre website.
